How do you deal with emotional blackmail?
Emotional blackmail is the product of toxic relationships that many people fall into. This type of blackmail involves strangling the victim or partner, restricting their movements, and subjecting them to complete control. But what are the forms of emotional blackmail and how do I deal with it? We'll explore all of this and more in today's article.
Definition of emotional blackmail:
Emotional blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person is forced to do things, perform roles, accomplish tasks, or perform things they do not want, simply to avoid threats, intimidation, and conflict with the blackmailer.
How do we fall victim to emotional blackmail?!
We can all fall victim to emotional blackmail without even realizing it. Do you know how?
Did you know that family upbringing is often marred by this kind of blackmail? It's like a parent telling you that if you don't sit quietly, you'll lose their love, or if you don't go to bed early, you'll earn their wrath, or if you hang out with this or that person, or love this or that, you'll have no place in their hearts. All of this and much more is a form of simple emotional blackmail that's often practiced on us, but unconsciously and unintentionally. Parents certainly don't intentionally emotionally blackmail us or psychologically harm us with such methods, but they use them unconsciously because of their devastating effects on us and on the formation of our personalities. That's why we grow up believing this is the normal state of life. But
What are the forms of emotional blackmail?
Blackmail by punishing others:
It is a common form of emotional blackmail used by some people in various types of relationships, such as love, marriage, work, friendship, and others. Here, the blackmailer threatens the victim with punishment if they refuse to carry out a command, or punishes them to refrain from a certain action.
Blackmail through self-harm:
Here, the blackmailer resorts to threatening to harm himself when the victim behaves in a way that violates his instructions, whether directly or indirectly, such as by saying, “I hope I can live until tomorrow after you decided to leave me,” or by saying, “I can’t live without you, and if I decide to leave, my life will end.”
Blackmail by playing the victim:
In this case, the blackmailer behaves in a way that arouses the victim's pity and makes them back down from what they want, out of concern for the victim. The blackmailer relies on the sincerity and strength of the victim's feelings and their attachment to him, and so tries to exploit these feelings to his advantage.
How do you know if someone is emotionally blackmailing you?
Anyone in your life, regardless of your relationship with them, can emotionally blackmail you, whether intentionally or unintentionally, as we mentioned earlier. However, there are some behaviors and phrases that the blackmailer often repeats that indicate that they are emotionally blackmailing you. The most common of these are:
- If you leave me, I will commit suicide.
- If you talk to so-and-so, consider it over between us.
- If you walk away from the relationship, I will reveal your secrets.
- You are the reason for my failure.
- You don't care about my happiness.
And other forms of blackmail that you sometimes willingly submit to because you feel sad for the person who told you that his life is subject to your decisions, and sometimes out of fear of scandals or losses.
How do you deal with someone who emotionally blackmails you?
Emotional blackmail is a behavior for which both the blackmailer and the victim are responsible. However, there are some tips you can follow to avoid emotional blackmail and learn how to deal with someone who is emotionally blackmailing you. The most important of these tips are:
- Be aware and conscious of how the relationship is going, and do not allow anyone, regardless of the nature of their relationship with you, to make you act contrary to your nature or against your convictions, even if you love them.
- Make sure to share responsibilities between you and him and maintain an objective and conscious relationship with each other.
- Setting boundaries and lines that cannot be crossed will enable you to stay away from any unhealthy or unbalanced relationship from the start.
- Boost your self-confidence, raise your self-esteem, and learn to make decisions that suit your goals, and don't let others decide for you.
In conclusion, I want you to know that none of us deserves to experience the pain of emotional blackmail, so be aware of it and always make sure not to let others diminish your self-confidence and the importance of what you truly want. A healthy relationship is one built on sound and clear foundations, far from psychological games and tricks. If you would like to check your relationship with your life partner or someone close to you to determine if you are being emotionally blackmailed, or if you would like help to get rid of the negative effects of emotional blackmail, you can now contact Dr. Zeina Sofi and receive psychological counseling.
